Anonymous1: this is why i love dimitri, because hes a smooth player who can get anyone he wants and he does in the previous games always surrounded by women. dimitri probably sweet talk sly just to fuck him in the back of the van
ShagsterP: @Anonymous: It's like you read my dirty mind. Dimitri is an awesome character. That's why I commissioned this one, heh. The van setting was the artist's idea, though. It was too delightfully perverted to say no.
ShagsterP: Might as well make this extra perverted since people seem to like Dimitri. I had written up a little something to go along with this commission when I posted it to my site, so here you go:
"Oh yea, always knew Cooper bro wanted to get jiggy with the reptile with style."
I rolled my eyes. Sure, Dimitri's, ah, unique choice of words were as strange as ever, but I hadn't been laid in weeks and the urge was getting to me. A raccoon can only take so much work without a little play, right? And our newest member to the gang had always been pretty open with, well, just about everything. "I just asked if you wanted to have sex, Dimitri."
"Just sex?" The tall iguana only grew more spirited, bending over with a long curving grin as the obscene number of gold trinkets around his neck clattered together. "My main man Sly, it's never just sex with the fabulous Dimitri. No, no, no. It's about minds warping, bombs dropping, and groove cats getting the funky juices flowing, you dig?!"
I really didn't want to try and imagine whatever mental image he'd just painted, but I'd be lying if I said the proposition of a wild night wasn't getting my own... funky juices flowing.
Yea, I'm glad I hadn't said that out loud.
"Okay, okay. If that's what you want to call it. But I think you'd be better off showing me." I knew stroking his ego was the fastest way to get things moving along - this was Dimitri, after all. Hopefully, I'd be stroking something else pretty soon.
"Okay, bro. Your place or Dimitri's?"
Since the lean lizard was still bent in my direction, I whispered an idea into his ear. The devious smile it plastered onto his purple snout told me he was -in Dimitri terms- 'down with it, for sure'. Murray had dragged Bentley off to a movie, anyway; they'd be gone long enough.
"Oh, crackerbox, you're really living up to that greasy sweet name of yours. Come on. Dimitri's gonna show you his fave number, and it's right smack dab in the middle of sixty-eight and seventy."
I smiled, letting the confident reptile lead me by the wrist in the direction of the van. Carmelita would kill me if she found out about this. Or maybe she'd managed to bug our car again and was about to get an earful. Maybe she'd already listened in on the last few guys I'd been with - now that's a thought. Either way, my mouth was craving something big, thick, and purple, and Dimitri was already unzipping. I guess it was about time to show him how a thief makes some things disappear.
ShagsterP: @leoleo: Oh, I'm sorry. I guess it's perfectly normal to spend your time hunting down content like yours to put here. If it's for the lulz, it totally doesn't make you a horribly creepy person whatsoever, right? You must be in your infancy here. Join the club, asshole. We're all bad people here.
ShagsterP: @leoleo: Also, that "everybody should only find things sexy that I personally find sexy" naive mentality died around 2010. Get with the program.
Anonymous4: @ShagsterP I honestly have no idea why he'd say your uploads are disgusting other than to pick a fight, given that he commented that he wanted "to swallow that sexy bastard" on a pic of Rigby, one of the characters that you've posted
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"Oh yea, always knew Cooper bro wanted to get jiggy with the reptile with style."
I rolled my eyes. Sure, Dimitri's, ah, unique choice of words were as strange as ever, but I hadn't been laid in weeks and the urge was getting to me. A raccoon can only take so much work without a little play, right? And our newest member to the gang had always been pretty open with, well, just about everything. "I just asked if you wanted to have sex, Dimitri."
"Just sex?" The tall iguana only grew more spirited, bending over with a long curving grin as the obscene number of gold trinkets around his neck clattered together. "My main man Sly, it's never just sex with the fabulous Dimitri. No, no, no. It's about minds warping, bombs dropping, and groove cats getting the funky juices flowing, you dig?!"
I really didn't want to try and imagine whatever mental image he'd just painted, but I'd be lying if I said the proposition of a wild night wasn't getting my own... funky juices flowing.
Yea, I'm glad I hadn't said that out loud.
"Okay, okay. If that's what you want to call it. But I think you'd be better off showing me." I knew stroking his ego was the fastest way to get things moving along - this was Dimitri, after all. Hopefully, I'd be stroking something else pretty soon.
"Okay, bro. Your place or Dimitri's?"
Since the lean lizard was still bent in my direction, I whispered an idea into his ear. The devious smile it plastered onto his purple snout told me he was -in Dimitri terms- 'down with it, for sure'. Murray had dragged Bentley off to a movie, anyway; they'd be gone long enough.
"Oh, crackerbox, you're really living up to that greasy sweet name of yours. Come on. Dimitri's gonna show you his fave number, and it's right smack dab in the middle of sixty-eight and seventy."
I smiled, letting the confident reptile lead me by the wrist in the direction of the van. Carmelita would kill me if she found out about this. Or maybe she'd managed to bug our car again and was about to get an earful. Maybe she'd already listened in on the last few guys I'd been with - now that's a thought. Either way, my mouth was craving something big, thick, and purple, and Dimitri was already unzipping. I guess it was about time to show him how a thief makes some things disappear.
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