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Uploaderimaajfpstnfo, avatar
TagsDuke_Nukem, Duke_Nukem_(series), Gunnerkrigg_Court, Katerina_Donlan, crossover, featured_image, imaajfpstnfo, webcomic
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Info1000x1145 // 1.5MB // png
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imaajfpstnfo: HAIL TO THE KING, BABY!
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Anonymous1: BALLS OF STEEL
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Anonymous2: It's good!
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Sodomius: BONER OF STEEL!
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Sonimon: I love that Duke's blowing smoke radioactive signs. Wish I could do that.

Also, I honestly thought that was Videl from the thumbnail. Who's got two thumbs and can't make rudimentary distinctions between anime characters? THIS GUY.
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imaajfpstnfo: The Flipper-Minigame: "I'VE GOT BALLS OF- SHIT!!"
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Anonymous3: I wish I knew who The Duke was fucking. JUST FEW MORE DAYS TILL THE APOCALYPSE.
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MrAnon: He literaly has balls of steel!
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imaajfpstnfo: anon3: just read the tags ;) Also, the game is awesome, I spent hours on the minigames alone xP
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Sodomius: Ahaha, me too Sonimon.
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anomalous: Yep, thought it was Videl.
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imaajfpstnfo: Since there were two awesome sequel-games released on this fateful friday I had to decide what I wanted to play first: Duke Nukem or inFAMOUS 2. I hate to say it ... but the latter is the better game.

I know, there will be some who disagree by referring to pure logic: The Duke is the most awesome entity in the universe, so why would a game about him be any less awesome?

... I have the special edition of inFAMOUS 2, which makes ME the proud owner of an in-game Katana as Cole's weapon, which makes HIM a mix between Marvel's Deadpool and Spiderman and DC's SHAZAMM! and Green Lantern all packed up in a single awesome Motherfucker.

Although the Duke is of course still more awesome a motherfucker than Cole, but he gets dangerously close. inFAMOUS 2 is awesummer than Duke Nukem Forever, tho, because huge assplosions, killing innocent bystanders in giant thunderstorms throwing cars a mile into a boat, more assplosions, and there's a hot pyromanic black chick.
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Titanium: I'm told that a new version of Duke Nukem has come out.

Enjoy the feature
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broman88: the irony that Duke banned his art here.
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Anonymous4: no money?
no funny bunny hunny
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Anonymous5: TOO BAD DUKEM NUKEM FOREVER WAS HALO WITH SOME BOOBS ATTACHED.
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Anonymous6(5): the new duke nukem was terrible
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Anonymous7: Only took them like what? 12 years to make it?
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Anonymous8: When a game goes through development hell on that scale, no good can come out of it. Same deal with movies.
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Anonymous9: Look Ma. No hands.
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8o8: i just tried the demo, the game wasn't bad, yet not the best game ever, and i aknowledge that duke nukem 3d is the best in the duke nukem saga.
it's fun but not worthy of 50 bucks (pc).
i prefer waiting for deus ex human revolution.
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8o8: Also, the pic is pure win, though it wasn't featured before.
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Anonymous10: The game is shit. Big disappointment.
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8o8: Is this game gonna get the award for the biggest troll game of 2011?
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Anonymous11: This fails for having something to do with the shit known as Duke.
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Anonymous12: Duke Nukem Forever is up there with Daikatana in terms of sheer disappointment.
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loverofperfectfeet: I ain't got time to bleed... http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Duke_Nukem_Forever
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ChaosWolf: Duke Nukem Forever...

Balls of Steel.

Game of Fail.
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Anonymous13: 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5 3.5
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ablock: The game is sick, you kids are retarded.
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Krawczyk: They just didn't do enough cool shit in it from what I've seen. Basically, there's a mountain of FPS buildup, gimmicks, mechanics, and weaponry all, that they could have added in all that time that the game was in hiatus, and there just wasn't much. Can't you see Duke with a Grav gun or electro-magnetic equivalent (ala Wild9, and a couple Unreal conversions) dicking around by throwing the aliens into one another, then air-juggling them ala Bulletstorm? Very many of the 'selling point' mechanics for other games should have been added to Duke. Even if it only half-assedly worked it would have greatly improved the enjoyment factor. About the only thing that is Duke about DNF is Duke himself, and a couple of the scenery interactions, which again are Duke-related or Duke-centric (ie casino turret on second stage.)

I mean goddamn, you can kick-juggle on Postal 2 but not Duke? That is messed up.
http://www.youtube.com/user/mrwhitefolks
look at this dude's Postal 2 dicking around, you should be able to do these, + gravgun, + bulletjuggle, + CQC takedowns, BAR MINIMUM. It would also have been a good excuse to make some Apogee refs. I can definitely see Drunken Missiles fitting into the 'feel' of Duke. Duke3D was fun as shit because of the plethora of newshit+shit taken from other guys then DONE BETTER. DNF should have been the same. Also how the fuck did it manage to fail at billiards when we've had working pool physics since Win95. I think that maybe there were simply not enough oldschool FPSfags involved in the production of DNF who were learn'd and school'd in which fun elements were the achievements of the past and which were one-shot gimmicks brought upon by the dreaded story-driven FPS line.

Also since they felt the need to show how beloved Duke has become by humanity by including him interacting with grunts, and legions of fans, you could have handwaved a lot of absolutely crazy weaponry by having a legion of geeky Duke fanboys reverse engineering then improving/completely breaking the physics of alien weaponry X-com style throughout the course of the game. If Duke gets DLC, it needs to be a veritable Timecube of the best FPS weapons and concepts throughout the years. That's the only thing that will actually make it into the landmark it ought to have been released as, a landmark comparable to its predecessor that would last in everyone's minds for another 15 years (when DukeVR is released :D)
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Krawczyk: and yeah I know I gave them a laundry list of things to crack at, but the fact of the matter is many elements in other games would enhance the feel of Dukie badassness that...quotes aside, just feels missing. It's just unfortunate Gearbox didn't want to polish it to perfection before sending it out. I don't think an extra year's wait would have killed anyone (important), and it would have vastly improved the game's fun factor and longevity.
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Anonymous14: Crap game, crap crap game full of crapness. Ok I'm not a fan of FPS games to begin with but I always had some fondness for DN3D. The new game just feels tired, looks awful and was clearly coded by chimps and not even the clever ones.

infamous 2 on the other hand was a hell of a lot of fun. I'd quite like some 34 of kuo and nix at it with their elemental powers going nuts.
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Anonymous15: I didn't know there were so many people who didn't like the gayme, but I think, gearbox did a decent job with it and they were a good choice, because Borderlands was so kickass.
We just expected way too much.
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Anonymous16(15): anon14, I'm working on it, but I have a helluva work on my hands, I will post it here, "when it's done", tho. xDD
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Anonymous17: Duke Forever is a kick ass game. It's DN3D all over again. New Duke was meant to be simple, stupid and all of that. After all, DN3D was the same - only difference Dn3d had kick ass graphics, and DN Forever hasn't this. But still it's good Duke game, 8/10 for me.
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imaajfpstnfo: The shit wasn't logged in!!

anon 15 and 16 was me, which means "I" am workin on a nix kuo pic.

PS: Thx for the feature
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Krawczyk: Well, it WAS in development hell for ages. At least when BC3000 came out, it was buggy as shit, nearly unplayable even, but the hour glimpse you got to see of it, it did everything it promised/was hyped to.
The real problem with Duke is that it seems like they just patchworked together what they received from 3DRealms and didn't add all that much, even though there's been so much advancement in all avenues. More offensive/titty-centric games have been released since then, more crazyfun FPSes have been released, more awesome/responsive vehicular anythings, more sandboxy action games, so with all the massive hype and increased expectations, they really needed to go above and beyond the call to pull out something amazing.
And like I said, making the boot an execution-only thing, big dumb as hell mistake. No kicking jetpack aliens into something explosive or each other, no bouncing pipe bombs with your shoe, no disarming with a swift kick, no crotch hits. There's like 30 different things you could have done with Duke's iconic boot alone.

I think that's why the reviews are so savage, they're oldfags who were looking forwards to the same things I was expecting. Various 'industry/dickery standards' and whatnot. Another point that made me think it was patchwork is that the enemy encounter rate feels more like an MGS sneaksying game than an FPS. There'll be long stretches where you are just taking out a couple noobs at a time and then there's nothing then there's 8 jetpack guys from out of nowhere and then it's back to pigs charging one at a time.

....HEY, there's a fun image for your head. Duke discovers a sneaking suit and puts it on. "I know I've said I've had things chap my ass before, but this is tighter than Bill Kaulitz' ass in a biker bar."
Followed by legions of fainting women.
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Anonymous18: Oh where do I even start? Regenerating health, 2 weapon restriction, linear design means no exploration, stereotypical "brown city in ruins" design, small ammo capacity means having to camp near crates, gun-whack melee instead of the boot of justice, running replaced with that retarded "sprint" mechanic, forced annoying puzzles, awfully controlled vehicle sections, little enemy variety, multiplayer's laggy and host-dominated, the game is a mess. Biggest disappointment since FF14.
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Anonymous19: why is it locked?
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Anonymous20: >Well actually im 13 now
lolwut
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Anonymous21(18): I've got loading screens of steel!
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Anonymous22: Duke Nukem core from Portal 2? " I A BALL OF STEEL"
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Anonymous23: sure it's /v/ here
hatters can go and suck balls of steel
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Anonymous24: ^Obvious troll is obvious.
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Anonymous25: balls of steel
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Anonymous26: I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum and I'm all out of ass-kicking.
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Anonymous27: @Anon23
I'm not a "hatter", sorry. Yuu must have mistaken me for someone else.
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Anonymous28: BALLS OF STEEL BABY!
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Anonymous29: BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS
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Mother: It is sort of funny that Katerina Donlan and Duke Nukem Forever were conceived at about the same time.
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Anonymous30: gotchie gotchie
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Anonymous31: Wow, I escaped /v/ to rule 34 for this shit?
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Anonymous32: Still debating whether or not to pick up my DNF preorder. I really don't like what I have been hearing about our beloved Duke's return...
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Franky_Whiskey: He sure ripped our heads off and shat on our necks.

Still, HAIL TO THE KING,BABY!
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Anonymous33: DOUK NOUKUM FUKK YEAR
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DJR_1989: Welcome back, Duke!
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Anonymous34: howle life?`
so she s 12!

balls of steel
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Anonymous35: Too bad the game is absolute garbage
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Anonymous36: EVERYONE SHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT UPSHUT
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Anonymous37: you are now aware her fingers are creepy and boney
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Anonymous38: Duke has no nipples. Oh god.
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Anonymous39: You’re an inspiration for birth control!
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DragonShade44: He's Duke Nukem, he'll have nipples when he WANTS nipples.
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imaajfpstnfo: Actually, there's a really simple exoplanation for this connundrum, anon 38.
The Duke is too manly to have such female things as inactive mammary glands. period.
There's another thing that he DOESN'T have which actually ADDS to his awesomeness, but I'll let you figure that out.
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Anonymous41: inb4 no penis

This should also have the Crossover tag.
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Anonymous42: LOL OH MY GOD
I have to go play Duke Nukem Forever now.
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Anonymous43: Any game that defies political correctness is good in my book.
All it needs is some delicious racism.
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Anonymous44: SPOILER: The game blows chunks. Interpret that how you want.
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Anonymous45: hello im Anon 47 and you just read my comment
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Anonymous46(18): I'm an idiot.
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Brownhouse: DAMN IM GOOD
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Brownhouse: GAME'S OUT GET IT
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Cerdo_Guerrero: Okay, seriously, where's the rule 34 of the giant alien queen with three tits?
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Anonymous47: I enjoyed DNF start to finish, critics are fucking retarded
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Anonymous48(9): @Anon44 I choose to interpret it as a statement that you go around with an arsenal of weapons blowing chunks out of people's flesh while vomiting.
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Anonymous49: We want new Garfield Cat Sex! :(
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Anonymous50: Careful... it takes Duke 13 years to come
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Anonymous51: Okay, so everyone says DNF sucks.

Question is, can you enjoy it ironically?
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imaajfpstnfo: You mean ironically like ventriloquism? Maybe.
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Anonymous52: We need gnomeo and Juliet
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Anonymous53: @Anon 53. What the fuck?
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Anonymous54: WORSE THAN DAIKATANA
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jaycro: jesus anon 53..... ur rite we do

sssssssteel sssssssssscrodum!!!
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Anonymous55(18): I heard that the "big package" pre-order bonus isn't working for anyone. Ain't that the icing on the 12 year old cake.
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Anonymous56: So no one did notice it is shopped...
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Anonymous57: @Anon 56 It works for me
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Anonymous58: Balls of steel.... Icwutudidthar....
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BottleofSmoke: She's stroking him with her left hand while he's still inside her.
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Anonymous59: wasn't there another picture like this but with some blonde chick?
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Anonymous60: @Anon 60 ya there was a long time ago i remember it but i looked under Duke Nukem and it wasn't there... i smell a conspiracy lol jk to busy fapping to care but it is really wierd
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EdwardV: He's still got it!
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Random_Set_of_Letters: Anon56, It works. The icing is fine.
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Anonymous61: Anon19 It's not locked,it's just like some error. Keep refresh and that WILL work.
I have balls of steel.
Steel,steel,BEEL,STEEEL.
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Anonymous62: Ha ha ha

wat
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Anonymous63: Duke Fukem lol
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Anonymous64: @Anon40: That was actually pretty fucking good, even if it is copypasta.
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Anonymous65: COME GET SOME
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Anonymous66: The Duke is pretty damn fucking awesome. Too bad his new game sucks ass.
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masterofpirates: DNF is fun. Not worth 60$ but it deserves damn more than a 3.5/10. It's worth playing just for all the politically incorrect stuff that's pissing off all the hippies.
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Anonymous67: I DON'T NEED POWER ARMOR
IT'S FOR PUSSIES
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Anonymous68: Stop posting your duke nukem reviews you fucking hambeasts
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Anonymous69: Anon55, you are fourteen. How the fuck would you know that?
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Anonymous70: wow nice anon 40 and nice duke
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Anonymous72: Nice idea, wrong Nukem!!
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Anonymous73: I suppose he wasn't lying.

Do you get crabs? Or tetanus?
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Anonymous74: Hulk SMASH uterus!


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