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Anonymous1: Professor: "If only I had listened to my old college Archaeology Professor Henry "Indiana" Jones and had taken a more adventurous approach to science. I would be fucking the fur off these little minxes right now. Sigh! Guess I'll go back to my hut and beat off to the periodic chart."
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Anonymous2: Prof: "Let's see, which should I pick tonight? Let's try Lead. Yeah. 'Pb'...mmmmm...'plumbum'...oh, yeah...plumb that bum..."