Clover, please understand he was insecure and felt lessened. He meant nothing wrong, and was hoping to make things good for you. He more than should have talked to you about asking outside sources first, for sure. But understand that the very nature of his issue is what prevented him from talking to you about it in the first place.
And he's now learning about it the hard way.

Phil, WHY DIDN'T YOU EFFING LISTEN TO BLUE, YOU BURBBRAIN?!?!?!?!
*ahem*
I mean, this is why you should talk with your partner first. She's not wrong in being disappointed in the fact that you talked about private matters with people she doesn't know. And, assuming she did talk about this stuff with her galpals, she probably feels a bit hypocritical about blaming you for the exact same thing she potentially has done.

May this be a lesson to the both of you in the important of communication, and open dialogue between partners.
Now, kiss and have make-up sex. <3